AmazingAi18

Archive for the ‘humor’ Category

Love Is In The Air…

In humor on February 3, 2012 at 4:00 am

Love is universal. It knows no gender,age,color or boundaries. In short,love is for everyone. But since it’s Valentine’s season,what better time to talk about love and romance. Just like a virus,it’s airborne. Inhale…Exhale… You sneeze and cough love. It can get so bad that you can become a carrier and spreads it to objects (take note: plural form!) 🙂 of your affection (Oh,quit being a player,duh!)
Old school love starts with courtship. Yeah,love letters,flowers and chocolates,professing your undying love. Now,with just a few key presses away and a couple of pick-up lines,you can be in a relationship. “Hi,I’m Aileen,what’s yours? Oh,you love me? Happy Minutesary then!” 😀 That fast huh! You’ve survived that whirlwind,dizzying stage,guy proposes to girl with a ring on hand, (got a piston ring,which I polish everyday to make it shiny) ;p
Engagement period. Reality check: Do you want him or her to become your bitter err better half? Check for cold feet too. 🙂 Then the third stage. Just a headstart,this isn’t for the faint of heart,only professionals do this. 😀 Marriage. The vow of all vows. Making a promise,you can’t keep,hehe 😀 First to third year: the honeymooners. Blissful and like a bed of roses. Bouquet of roses,a Hallmark card and a box of chocolates for every special occasion. The wife talks,the husband listens attentively. Nice! Fourth to sixth year: Still ideal with just minor arguments along the way,the beauty of kiss and make-up after a fight. Husband talks and the wife listens,while clutching onto her bouquet of roses and her box of chocolates. Now,the 7-year itch! (yes,there’s such a thing folks!) Are we still on the subject of love,romance and marriage or the Cold War? Now,husband and wife talk,both at the same time and the neighbors listen! 😀 And instead of a bouquet of roses,he sends her a wreath with a note saying “My deepest sympathy….to MYSELF!” 😀 Not to be outdone,wife prepares a comeback,sending him a card,not a Hallmark now but a delinquent supplementary credit card,complete with demand notice! 🙂

True,we’re swamped with stories of unsuccessful marriages and relationships,this doesn’t seem to dampen the Valentine spirit. As the old adage says, “It’s better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.” Once bitten and twice shy? No way! Love is what makes this crazy world go round!

Advertisements

iPhoney Siri

In humor on January 12, 2012 at 1:48 am

As I was browsing over the net,came across this rather amusing post.It’s about a 12-yr old boy from England,who’s trying out the demo iPhone’s latest feature,the Siri. Charlie Le Quesne asks; ” How many people are there in the world? “ To his shock, the voice system replied with ” shut the f*** up…! “ The store managers explained that the unit may have been tinkered by pranksters. Well,Siri could have just answered: ” just Google it,ajksfdgfhj! “ 😀

I Survived Quiapo

In humor, Photo Blog on December 17, 2011 at 11:25 am

CNN PRODUCER NOTE: Aileen shot these photos of some hectic holiday shopping on the colorful streets of Manila, Philippines. Despite the huge crowds and breakneck pace, she managed to find most of what she was looking for on her list. -jmsaba, CNN iReport producer

With just a week to go before Christmas and looking at my kilometric to give gift list,I know I have to do my last minute Christmas shopping.But there’s a big problem…my dwindling finances.I can only scratch my head.But hey,Christmas is about giving,so just like the lyrics of a Jessie J.song,”It’s not about the money money money,we don’t need your money money money,we just ‘wanna make the world dance,forget about the price tag…” Whew! That’s a good motivation.I’m sure the receivers of my gifts will understand that it’s austere season.But I’ll make sure I’ll change identity after I’ve handed them the gifts,to save myself from impending embarrassment. 😀 Counting my moolah (Gee,it took me split second to finish it!),I know it won’t get anywhere if I go to the mall,no choice but to go to one of the busiest areas in the metropolis….Quiapo!
In full battle gear,(yeah,you heard it right. I’ll be entering a warzone!)braved the maddening crowd of Quiapo. Your visit to this area (well,that is if you’re a devout Catholic) will not be complete if you don’t stop by the Basilica of the Black Nazarene. .“God,I thank you for all the blessings and please put me under the mantle of your protection.Spare me from pickpockets,guide me to the best buys and lastly,I know you have the ability to multiply things,can you double my money so that I can buy everything on my list?” 🙂
Where did all these people come from?! Wow,thought of backing out,but thought of my godchildren (there are a hundred plus of them,no exaggeration!) who are eagerly awaiting for my Christmas presents,slowly inched my way through the crowd.
This is really the place for the budget-conscious shopper.Here you can find blouses and kids’ clothes for as low as 50 pesos and you have a wide variety to choose from.Clothes,shoes,caps,jewelries,accessories,toys,kitchen wares…just about anything.And if you’re thinking of changing or trading your spouse,think they offer that here too! 😀
As I approach the finish line,saw an interesting group of tarot card and palm readers,”fortune tellers”.Just for the hang of it,I decided to try this,I have nothing to lose,anyways. This old lady held my hand,then told me “You’re 26 right?” Wow,she couldn’t tell my age,that I’m way older than that,now that’s a fortune! 😀 Then she went on,“All your life,you have experienced nothing but hardships,BUT when you reach the age of 30….” Excitedly,I asked her,“I’ll become rich???” Then with a straight face,she replied, “No,by that time,you’re already used to having a hard life,so nothing will change!” Dang!

A zany Christmas to all! 😀

No Christmas This Year-And It’s My Fault

In humor on December 11, 2011 at 12:55 pm

To:Saint Nicholas
North Pole

Dear Santa,

Happy Ho Ho Holidays! Just a short note to tell you that I’ve been a GOOD girl the whole year! 🙂 Waiting for my gift.

~Aileen

To my surprise,got a reply e-card which says:

There’s No Business Like Minding Your Own Business

In humor on November 29, 2011 at 1:47 pm

Have you ever encountered a pesky individual who always has something to say in every situation? Mr/Ms Know-It-All,a walking satellite dish(Yeah,he/she gets to intercept all the juiciest gossips in town)and holds the Commentator of the Year Award. I have a neighbor(not exactly a friend) who’s just like that.(Sorry neighbor,told you not to push your luck,now you’re being talked about on WordPress,hehe) 😀 She has this habit of spoiling my otherwise sunshiney day. The reason why I’m in hibernation these days,I avoid crossing paths with her. 🙂 One time,she approached me, armed with her sharp tongue and sarcastic ways. “Hi! Good morning,how are you?I’ve noticed that you gained weight!”(Strike One) I was kinda taken aback by that but still managed to maintain my composure.So I replied,“I’m on a seafood diet,everytime I SEEFOOD,I eat”. What’s worse is that she didn’t even get m

y joke!Ugh! She kept on talking,”No no you really look kinda big!”(Strike Two). She’s exactly not your idea of thin,what with a 40-inch waistline 😀 One…two..three.. Breathe in…breathe out… God,please help me not to get too pissed! Finally she said bye but not before letting out her Strike Three.“You should have time to exercise,neighbor…Bye!” That’s it! I know I have to counter-punch!“Ok,bye! Oh wait,I don’t see your kid,did you swallow him?” 😀 That’s not the end of it. I got invited to welcome the new archdiocese in our area. As I was about to board my car,my neighbor (oh no,not again!My stalker!:D) came running to me and asked why I’m all dressed up.So told her that I’ll have dinner with some church people to welcome our new priest.Then she told me that she had the chance to meet him and told me that our previous archdiocese is way better than his replacement and that she thinks that I won’t be able to talk to him,because there will be lots of people welcoming him.Ok ok,just gave her a wry smile.Then,she left me a comment.“You should have tied your hair up,it looks messy…” Thought of strangling her,knowing that I can confess to the new priest. 🙂
The next morning,she went to my house and asked what I think of her new hairstyle and also how did the affair go,told her it’s went on smoothly.Then she said in mock sarcasm,“I bet you weren’t able to talk to our archdiocese” Calmly I answered,“Oh I was able to speak with him! He even asked me to sit right next to him.Then I mentioned your name,asked him if he knew you, and you know what he told me?”Can you ask your neighbor as to who the hell fuc*ed up with her hair!” 😀

This is what you’ll get for being too nosey